


Our Love in Shutter Speed

by baeconandeggs, Be_MyLight04



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, un-betaed!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 07:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14848589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Be_MyLight04/pseuds/Be_MyLight04
Summary: Baekhyun keeps life in photographs—stopping time, capturing moment—while Chanyeol is stuck in the past;of soft kisses and sappy confession.





	Our Love in Shutter Speed

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** BAE227  
>  **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
>  **Author's Note:** First of all, this fic is a whole lot of mess. I apologize beforehand to my beloved prompter if I have failed you but I hope that it somewhat satisfy you (even for tiny bit). To the lovely mods of BAE2018, I sincerely thank all of you from the deepest of my heart. You guys were too kind for me, I don’t even deserve this. I’m sorry I gave all of you headache with my constant beg of extension and now, late submission. (T_T) Last but not least, to the readers… _please don’t kill me._ **Thank you so much for reading! Xoxo!**

 

 

 

Baekhyun took a deep breath and brought his Canon F100 closer to his face. A soft smile lingered as his lips curled upward. He nudged the other’s long limb with his short one playfully.

A giggle.

Shutters.

_Snap._

_{ we were built_

_to fall apart }_

_“Take me away from here.” He begged. Pale lips quivered under the lukewarm weather. Gone was the cheerful and playful voice. The man who stood in front of him had looked so lost and exhausted._

_Weak,_

_Kyungsoo frowned._

_“Baekhyun, are you sure?” he asked for the umpteenth time. There was this uneasiness creeping into his heart, an unknown feeling that he couldn’t name. It left him confused and anxious to take the next step, in fear that it would worsen the already bad situation._

_“I can’t do this anymore.” The other man sobbed, broad shoulders trembled as he rub his face with his open palms. “I can’t look at him in the eye and lie to his face every day.”_

_Baekhyun had looked so small and fragile. So broken._

_“Just—I—please, please just take me away from here, Soo.” He looked up then. His pretty face smeared with tears and snots whereas his eyes continued to beg Kyungsoo for mercy. The sight was too heart-breaking for Kyungsoo to watch._

_“I don’t think this is what you really want to do.” He reasoned again, trying to make him changes his mind—anything to stop this craziness._

_“You don’t understand! Nobody will understand!” he snapped, startling Kyungsoo as he looked at the man in front of him with wide eyes._

_Baekhyun rarely snapped. It was him who usually did. Baekhyun was supposed to be that cheerful and annoying person—loud and full of happiness. A ball of sunshine._

_“I rather kill myself than stay.” His words were thick with finality despite the trembling lips and hoarse voice. Kyungsoo knew he can’t change Baekhyun’s mind once it was set._

_Baekhyun was stubborn like that._

_Yet weak,_

_So very weak,_

_“Baekhyun!”_

 

**_—_ **

****

****

_{ hey,_

_catch me,_

_for I’m about to fall_

_and be gone }_

 Chanyeol thinks of life as an empty shell; a temporary home continuously filled with new people—strangers and acquaintances, new memories—built and kept for a short term, yet none of them stay long enough for him to remember. His view of life used to be of the colour rainbow; beautiful and joyful with meaningful insights for each of the colour but ever since 3 years ago, his life had been black and white; dull and meaningless. _Like an empty shell._

He wasn’t heartless per se, his heart still beating the same rhythm but no longer to a song, merely just to the tick of the clock; _tic-toc-tic-toc…_ an endless cycle of a dull life. He was stuck in a continuous phase of bad moods—but that maybe just his stubbornness taking over himself. He was petty and vengeful like that.

 

 

**_—_ **

****

****

Somewhere in Seoul, an office was bustling with the noises of fingers smashing on keyboards—letters put together to create words and words of tales and facts, silent voices desperate to be heard amongst the hundreds of others. Everyone was chasing the deadlines.

Hushes words were thrown here and there. A yelling was drown out by the loud clatter of files on the desk. All of the noises mixed together with the unsynchronized rhythm of footsteps dancing in hurry on the floor. 

It was the time of the month again—2 weeks before the closing date.

Everything need to be finalized before they can get the go from their editor in chief. Everything need to be perfect for the final pass from their CEO, skipping that one step and they will risk having to reprint their monthly issue, again.

A single mistake could cost them a ton, what not with their meticulous and fussy boss.

Park Chanyeol sat on his black chair, facing his mahogany desk with a frown. The chaos happening outside of his office falls deaf to his ears. His fingers dance impatiently on the fine wood whilst looking at the man in front of him with a tight face.

“Redo this.” He threw a set of photos on his desk, causing the man sitting in front of him to bulge his eyes in shocked. Chanyeol will never admit it but he secretly finds joy in the misery of his Editor in Chief.

“You have got to be kidding me, Chanyeol. That’s impossible! The photo-shoot was finalized a week ago.” Jongdae said exasperatedly.

“I don’t care. Redo it again,” Chanyeol answered him back with a scowl, too stubborn to back down from his own words.

“And this time, get rid of that fucking sunflowers.” He added.

The Editor in Chief sagged his shoulders and sighed rather loudly.

“They are just sunflowers, Chanyeol. And they fit with our concept. Can’t you see how beautiful these shots are?” Jongdae desperately reached for the photos and scattered them on the desk for Chanyeol’s better view.

“You can’t be this petty.” Both of them know it was a statement rather than a question but Chanyeol didn’t budge. He still had that scowl on his face, a perfect defence to get what he wants, and trust him, he always get them.

“You know I hate them, Jongdae. You should have asked for my opinion on this.”

He despised them with his whole being. Such an ugly flower. Those bright yellow petals make his heart boils whenever he caught a sight of them. He wished the whole species will extinct soon so he won’t have to see them anymore.

Jongdae dragged his palms over his carefully combed hair while letting out a snort. There was no way he could get this done before the deadlines. He was pretty sure the assigned photographer isn’t even available for the next two weeks.

He was royally _fucked._

“You gave me this position for a reason, Chanyeol. I’m the one who handles everything the moment you agreed on the concepts.”

“Well, I’m the one who get to say the final yes and I don’t like these.”

“This is going to cost us more money.”

“Doesn’t matter, I’m the one paying it.”

 _Fuck_ rich people and their _fucking_ money.

“Our deadline is in two weeks, Chanyeol.” He reminded the man but Chanyeol just shrugged and pushed the photos toward him.

“Which is why I suggest, you better get started now.”

“I swear to god, I’m going to go bald working for you.” He whined childishly. There was no use debating with him because Chanyeol is a stubborn man and he can’t believe that he agreed to work with this man. He should have venture further, risking being unemployed rather than working with an ass of a friend.

Chanyeol snorted, “We have long figured that one out.”

“I can’t even give any comeback for that because you’re my boss.” Jongdae sighed.

Jongdae cussed internally when he saw the slight smirk forming on the other’s face. 

“Something happened at home or you’re just being an ass for no reason?” he asked afterward. Chanyeol is a serious man when it comes to work but he is never this uptight, at least not with him. Something must be bothering him.

His friend laughed half-heartedly, almost like a mock, as if he was asking a silly question.

“That’s the thing, Jongdae.” Chanyeol paused, “Nothing ever happens at home. I lived alone, remember?” His friend muttered bitterly.

He dragged his breath and huffed out a sigh. Now would be the right time for him to _~~tease~~_ imply that his friend should be going out meeting new people and start dating, but he knew Chanyeol’s history and it would be so inappropriate for him to even suggested such things to the latter.

“Come to my house for dinner tonight. Sora will love to have you around.” He suggested.

Chanyeol visibly relax and lean his body more on his enormous chair. “Nah, I’ll skip. I don’t think I’m up for anything right now.”

Jongdae frowned, “you sure you are alright?”

His friend rubbed his hands on his face as he sighed deeply. There were hints of exhaustion on every inch of his face when he looked up again.

“Tomorrow is _the_ day, Jongdae.”

Jongdae frowned, confused. His eyes focused on his friend’s solemn face before the clouds clear out of his mind. His mouth opened in a silence ‘ _oh’._

Tomorrow was the day _he_ left,

—the one with Chanyeol’s heart.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Chanyeol.” He said softly, his voice laced with concern as he looked at his old friend. “If you’re up for that dinner, just call me later. Okay?”

Jongdae get up and walked out of office when he saw his friend nodded his head several times—completely ignoring the distant shout of _“Remember, no sunflowers!”_

**_—_ **

 

 

_{ you let me fall into the depth_

_and I was swallowed_

_whole by the impending darkness }_

****

Baekhyun sees life like an endless string of wool before it gets stuck in a hideous tangled lump or worst, it ends abruptly—cut or ripped apart messily; like life that ended too soon, the ones with no explanation, no closure, just a dead end of a worn out string. Brutal and heartless.

He lost both of his parents when he was twelve, still so young and pure. He was forced to tend to his own needs and despite being blessed with the borrowed love offered by kindred hearts along the way, they would never able to replace the lost ones he had.

Growing up for Baekhyun was a series of abrupt endings with memories scattering around without a proper home. He was forever desperate to keep them intact because forgetting is so easy when you are just human.

He was fourteen when he discovered photography. It wasn’t the aesthetic values that pulled him in—it was the act of capturing a moment, stopping the time in one single shot so the memories could live forever; it was the power of stopping time that drew him in.

He wanted to keep them all—the people, the places, the memories and the feelings that he felt in a piece of photo—so they would remain the same for as long as he allows them. It was safer and secured that way. He won’t lose any of them that way.

Or so, he thought.

 

 

                                                                                               

Baekhun adjusted his Nikon F100 strap around his neck before he lift the camera to his face. His working shift at the bookstore just ended a few minutes ago so he decided to take a stroll around the place and if his inspiration ever kicks in, he’ll be blessed with a photo or two.

It was four in the afternoon and the bookstore was quite deserted saved for a few customers and a family with two small kids browsing through the aisles of books. He smiled to himself as he captured a photo of a five years old kid hugging her favourite fairy tale book animatedly.

Children in bookstore was probably one of his favourite things to watch. They were the sincerest and purest with their expressions; be it pure joy, grumpiness, lost and curiosity, he had captured them all and there was something about it that spread endless warmth in his heart.

“Oh. You are still here, Baekhyun?”

Mr. Song was the bookstore owner—tall guy with thick glasses and greying hair. The old man walked towards him while offering his soft and friendly smile.

Baekhyun returned back the smile and hold up his camera. The old man just laughed at his unspoken answer. Mr. Song was a man full with laughter and kind smiles, years of owning and handling the bookstore must have filled his heart with so much happiness and love— _fictional or not._

People says that happiness is contagious and Baekhyun thinks he was infected with the virus too.

“You and your camera.” He could hear him shaking his head with a fond smile even without looking at him.

The old man stood beside Baekhyun and watched him took more photos of the bookstore in silent. He was used of Baekhyun casually taking photos in his store and most of the time, the young man loved to work in silent.  He never said it out loud but he liked watching the occasional content smile appearing on the younger man’s face.

“Why didn’t you get those new digital camera? You know, the one with the screen and all. Wouldn’t it be easier for you?” he asked after the other was done snapping moments and feelings with his camera.

Baekhyun simply looked at his old Nikon F100 and grinned. “I have one of those at home. I just prefer using this more.” He rubbed his thumb on the smooth surface as he spoke, eyes brightening the more he talked about it. “Developing the photos in my darkroom is probably my most favourite part in photography—they’re calming and fun.”

Mr. Song smiled fondly at him, “You should quit your job here and open a photography shop.”

“Are you firing me right now?” Baekhyun squinted his eyes at his boss, feigning offend.

They both ended up laughing at Baekhyun’s playful remarks but the old man patted his shoulder as they calmed down.

“You know what I meant, Baekhyunie. You should do what you truly love.”

Baekhyun only smile in return, although it didn’t quite reach his eyes; a sad smile masked by a wise one. His love for photography had been ingrained in his life to the point that people around him know him by his camera and his photos.

He would wander around the neighbourhood with his Nikon F100 in his hand, capturing every moments he deemed worth keeping. Smiling contently at every pieces of photo he developed later in the solace of his darkroom.

It was all the little things that keep his smile fixed on his small face. He needed them to keep going with his mundane life.

And amongst other little things in his life, Byun Baekhyun also _loved_ sunflowers—yellow, bright and beautiful sunflowers.

 

_“I hate sunflowers.”_

Baekhyun turned his head around in a speed of light. He looked way too offended with the statement that his best friend had just uttered merely a second ago.

“Excuse me, Kyungsoo. That is a very offensive thing to say.” He had one of his hand on his chest to make a point.

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at the comment but continue to put the sunflowers in the vase without another words. Baekhyun took the vase from his friend with a wide smile, purposely ignoring the second eye rolls from Kyungsoo.

“Tell me, why would you hate this beauty?” Baekhyun asked as he placed the vase of sunflowers on their dining table.

“Because they are too bright and loud.”

Baekhyun scrunched his nose and looked at his best friend judgingly.

“How on earth can sunflowers— _flowers_ —be loud??” he asks incredulously but Kyungsoo just gave him a bored look before he walked away.

“They are so bright—it almost blinding and sometimes, looking at them make me feel like they are screaming their happiness to my face. _Fucking_ flowers and their bright colours. It’s annoying.” Kyungsoo explained as he took a sit on the red sofa. His hands were spread on either side of the cushions.

They have been living together for 3 years now but the two of them have been friends since high school. Do Kyungsoo was a quiet young man with wide round eyes and a potty mouth—Baekhyun swears if anyone ever heard the words coming out from his friend’s mouth when they’re alone, the latter could put his job in danger because unlike Baekhyun who casually going about with his life doing several jobs at a time, Kyungsoo is a professor. He teaches at the private college nearby their house and he is scarily good at it.

Their friendship works well enough for them to stand the sight of each other seven days a week, despite them both reaching their 30s soon.

“You do know that you are still not making any sense, don’t you?” Baekhyun pouted with his arms crossed over his chest.

“My point is, we don’t need the sunflowers in our house when we already have _you_ here.”

“Are you saying that I’m annoying too??” Baekhyun asked scandalously but his friend just ignored him, again.

“I don’t get why you have to buy them every day. That shit is not cheap, man.”

“Well, I got them for a cheap price from that sweet florist.” Baekhyun chirped as he jumped and bounced his butt on the space beside Kyungsoo, earning an annoyed groan from his friend.

“Ugh, you mean that annoying Nam Joohyuk brat?”

“Hey, he’s not a brat. He’s a good kid, sweet too, helping out his grandma during his semester break.”

“You mean, using that excuse to flirt with you? Yeah, I can see that—ouch! What was that for?!” Kyungsoo hissed while rubbing on his left arm. Baekhyun smiled cheekily with his fingers still hanging in the air.

“You asked for it. Now, stop being an asshole or I’m going to pinch your whole body until you can’t feel anything anymore.”

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to look at his friend scandalously—to which Baekhyun only smiled back sweetly.

“Can you stop being creepy with that stupid smile of yours? And get the fuck away from me.”

Kyungsoo swears he tried his best to push his friend away but Byun Baekhyun had latched himself on him with a soft mumble of _‘but you love me, Kyungsoo!’_

One of these days, he might need to reconsider his decision to live with this nut job.

 —but everyone including Kyungsoo knows very well that he won’t because as soon as he takes a look at his best friend’s puppy smile, he won’t even have the heart to hurt him.

Kyungsoo sighed and ruffled Baekhyun’s hair in return, completely ignoring the whine from the other man.

 

 

**_—_ **

 

 

 

“I’m sorry. You want me to do what now?” Minseok looked up from his camera with a deep frown, utterly confused with what he just heard.

“You want me to do the photo-shoot again?” He narrowed his eyes at the assistant standing in front of him. Joy is a beautiful and attractive girl. Her red long hair curls and falls gently below her shoulders but that is definitely not the reason why Minseok is having difficulty understanding her request.

“Uhm, yes.” Joy answered with a distorted face, obviously uncomfortable to be out in such situation with the photographer. Minseok is one of the best in his field and getting him to do most of their photo-shoot is a blessing by god, but asking him to redo his works could possibly be the end of that blessing.

“What kind of bizarre request is that?” Minseok snorted, unkindly. “You’re telling me that I need to redo the whole photo-shoot with different props because your dear CEO _hates_ sunflowers?” he reconfirmed again just for the sake of his own amusement.

Joy nodded reluctantly.

He burst into a big fat laughter then, nearly dropping his precious camera on his frantic attempt to hold his stomach.

“This has got to be the joke of the year.” He concluded as he wipes an invisible tear from his eyes. “But the answer is _no._ ” he dropped his decision the second his smile flattened.

“But Minseok—”

“I’m fully booked until the end of this month and just so you know, I’m flying off to Japan tomorrow.” He cut her off with his final words but pursed his mouth the seconds he sees her crestfallen face.

“I’m pretty sure all of the photographers are fully booked too by this time of the month, especially the good ones.” He mulled over his thoughts for a little while before his eyes brighten up over the solution he had found.

“But,” he paused. Joy looked up to him expectantly then, hoping for a solution that could save her job. “I know someone that could help you with the photoshoot. If I can get him to take the job, you might hit the jackpot with this one.” Minseok suggested with an easy smirk on his handsome face.

Joy frowned at the choice of word, _jackpot?_

“Oh, who is it?”

 

 

**_—_ **

 

 

Chanyeol was livid.

His morning was interrupted by the loud noise from his kitchen. It was a Sunday and it was the only day he can sleep in.

No one was supposed to come.

_No one._

He groaned out in annoyance while tossing around on his king size bed. A few seconds later, he got more annoyed when he found himself getting tangled in his blanket instead.

“ _Fuck_.” He snapped.

He lived in a massive suite, a place located at the top of the building. He purposely chose to live there for the sake of his own privacy, and because he had liked the comforting company of silence.

Peacefulness—something that was robbed from him at this early hour in the morning.

He sat up abruptly and grabbed the t-shirt he left at the other side of his bed. The walk to his kitchen felt like an infinity when he can barely open his eyes. He looked at the clock on his wall and glared at the number seven blinking back at him.

It was still too _fucking_ early for this.

He was walking out of his room when he saw a maid—probably was hired by his nanny, Mrs. Han—struggling with the lock of the secluded room in the farthest end of his suite.

“What are you doing here?” He asked the lady—who had her back to him—harshly.

The startled lady turned around with a sag of keys in her hand. “Ah—I—I’m sorry, sir. I was sent by Mrs. Han to clean your house.”

Chanyeol frowned, “I thought I specifically told her that I don’t want anyone coming here on Sunday?”

“It was my fault!” she bowed apologetically. “I couldn’t come yesterday so I come today to clean up this place. Please forgive me, sir.”

He just looked at her sceptically but his tense stares had the maid quivering on her feet.

“What were you trying to do just now?”

“I—I was trying to clean the—the room but I couldn’t find the key for it.”

“That’s because I didn’t give the key to anyone, even Mrs. Han.” He said sternly, “Whatever you do in this house, this room is off limit. Understood?”

“Ye—yes sir.” The maid nodded frantically.

Chanyeol sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. “Just make sure you leave quickly when you are done,” he was about to go back into his bedroom when he paused and looked back at the maid, “and please, try not to make too much noise. I need to sleep.”

The maid nodded her head hastily before she continued her work as quiet as possible, all the while glancing over the restricted room, curious as to why no one was allowed to be inside.

 

 

**_—_ **

 

 

Monday came rather slow the next day.

Chanyeol was greeted with the earthy smell of drizzling rain the moment he stepped out of his car. He squinted his eyes and looked up at the morning sky—dark and sullen. The rain wasn’t that heavy but it was enough to make him feels cold. Spring rain was never his favourite. They are musty, damp and just purely bothersome.

Chanyeol clucked his tongue, annoyed.

His walk to his office on the 19th floor was long today. His mind was empty yet not entirely quiet, there was an invisible string tugging on his conscience—like the quiet before the storm—and he doesn’t really know what to do with weariness settling in his heart since he woke up this morning.

He groaned and pressed his lips tightly together as he walked out of the lift. The office was already alive and hectic despite how early it is. Chanyeol wouldn’t even be surprised if some of them have clocked in since six in the morning. 

He was about to walk into his office when his eyes caught something and he immediately froze, eyes locked on a certain someone’s back disappearing behind a door. He blinked and shaking his head as if it would clear out the clouds in his mind.

There was no way _that_ person would be here, in _his_ office, the place that he owned out of all places.

He grunted out a frustrated noise and pushed the door to his office, ignoring the look from his secretary. That morning had been weird enough for him and he had no plan on making it worse.

Chanyeol sighed as rounded his desk and sat on his chair. He really need his morning coffee now.

 

 

**_—_ **

 

 

When it was finally Wednesday, Chanyeol sullen mood had improved by a lot. The frequent sour face and scowls were replaced by a calm demeanour. He would joke around and tease his editor in chief just for the sole purposes of making the other man’s life miserable. Jongdae’s whine might be annoying as hell but it felt like a music to his ears.

_Damn._

Chanyeol really need to do something with his lonely life. He’s turning into a pathetic loser who finds joy in his friend’s misery because his life was _that_ boring.

“Whatever you’re thinking about in your empty head right now, please know that it’s true and it’s not happening later, it’s happening now. Your life is _that_ boring.” Jongdae commented out of nowhere while they were riding the lift together.

He glared at the shorter man beside him.

“Shut up, Dae.”

He didn’t missed the wide smile that his friend spotted when they walked out of the lift. He was about to make a mean remark just to wipe that smile off of his friend’s face when something hard crashed on his chest, the momentum almost had him fall on his butt should he not have fast reflex.

He would have screamed a string of profanities to whoever that had bumped into him when he is a 6’ 1’’ giant, but there were flower petals in his mouth _and_ his whole face.

_Fuck. What kind of flower is this big?_

Jongdae was laughing loudly behind him the whole time until the latter peeked out behind Chanyeol’s shoulder and the laughter died abruptly.

Chanyeol pushed away the giant flower and looked at his friend’s horrified face.

“Wha—” he was about to ask what was wrong until he looked in front of him and was met with an equal horrified face—only that the one before his eyes now has a familiar pair of slanted puppy eyes staring at him in horror, thin pinkish lips widening and beautiful slim fingers wrapped around the stem of a _fucking_ big sunflower.

He froze as he stared at the man intensely. The air around them dropped at his sudden realization.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

He heard Jongdae’s voice over the loud hammering of his heart against his chest.

_Shitshitshitshitshit._

_It’s him._

****

****

**_—_ **

****

 Baekhyun bought his first camera when he was 17 years old; a second-hand Canon F3. It wasn’t the best but it worked fine enough for Baekhyun who just started fumbling around with his photography skills. He had worked two part times jobs and saved up for nearly three years to finally afford buying one.

He wasn’t one to complaint, he learned that you have to work hard to get what you want and he stand by this as he worked his ass off just so he could buy that camera. He loved and treasured it so much that he still keep it, safe and sound, behind the glass of his cabinet at home when the camera stop functioning.

He was a sentimental and easily attached person.

Which is why it was hard for him to let go of his profession—the one that he had worked so hard to build—because life was being a bitch and he was forced to set loose most of the very few things that kept him sane.

“Thank you so much for agreeing to take this job, Baekhyun-shi. I still can’t believe that you’re standing right here before me.”

The bright voice of the lady in front of him brought him back to reality. He looked up and was met with a blinding smile and what he could registered as awe in the latter’s eyes. He smiled sheepishly, flustered by the amount of attention given to him.

“Please don’t say that. I’m the one who feel honoured that you would want me to take photos for you. _Allusions_ is one of my favourite magazines. You guys are amazing!” He said sincerely as he raised a thumb up.

She let out a lovable laughter and thanked him before they proceed to take a seat on the couch.

“My boss would definitely be happy to hear that Mr. Byun Baekhyun, the prodigy himself, said our magazine is his favourite.”

Baekhyun rubbed his hand over the back of his neck nervously.

_A prodigy?_

Could he still be called as that when he chose to drop everything and ran away three years ago? Does he still worthy of that title when he left and went into hiding because he was too weak to face his own shortcomings?

“I’m not young anymore. Pretty sure the title doesn’t apply to me anymore.” He laughed awkwardly but Joy shook her head in denial. She looked so earnest and sincere, it made him feel guilty to be at the receiving end of her admiration.

He didn’t deserve it.

“Even after all this years, I still remember how good your works are.”

Baekhyun smiled sheepishly,

Ten years ago, he broke into fame when he won one of the most prestigious awards for photography—defeating the hundreds of other professional, much older, photographers. He was just an eighteenth years old teenager with barely any experience but of those that he had self-taught himself. He won because his photo book was a series of photos heavy with emotions; powerful with a depth of moments spoke in silence. He was known to be _that_ one photographer who can tell emotional stories in a single photo. He was _the prodigy._

“I can’t wait to start the shooting!”

He smiled at her enthusiasm. Truthfully, he was excited to start as well. It had been too long since he went into a studio or have anything remotely professional while taking photos and his whole body had been itching for them. Which was why when his Minseok hyung called a few days ago, he agreed promptly.

Kyungsoo wasn’t really fond of the idea of him coming back to Seoul or even working for this big brand. _Allusions_ is one of the top magazines in Korea and his friend didn’t think that this is the kind of exposure he would risk to take after three years of missing in action. Kyungsoo was worried, like he always do.

But Baekhyun was stubborn and he had wanted, _so much_ , to take the offer even though it could mean exposing himself to the world. Even when it means he will have to face his fears.

He thought he was ready.

But perhaps, it was too soon to say such things because when he came to the office on Wednesday morning for the final meeting, the universe had decided to punish him by making him tripped on his own foot, causing his face to collide with the hard chest of his one _worst_ fear.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jongdae’s voice was loud and clear like it had always been but so did the ache spreading in his stomach, crawling its way into his heart, the moment his eyes locked with the man in front of him.

 

_{ would you look me in the eyes_

_and say, that love is a messy business,_

_and you, I, we were never meant to be }_

 

 

Chanyeol had been quiet ever since the small incident at the lift. There was no yelling or frustrated remarks from him and that alone was worrisome for Kim Jongdae.

A quiet and angry Chanyeol was never a good thing.

Jongdae clamped and unclamped his fist worriedly. His friend had been sitting still in silence for the past an hour and he wasn’t really sure what to make out of the tense air in the office room.

“Chanyeol,” he started, unsure of what he should really say. “I didn’t know that he will be working for us. It was for the sunflower photoshoot that you rejected and I let Joy takes full charge of it. I—” he paused, “I’m sorry I didn’t check properly. I’ll let him know that we are cancelling the photoshoot.” He quickly decided without much thinking.

“No, don’t do that. Let him stay and finish his job.”

Chanyeol had looked so calm and while some would think that was a good thing, those who was close enough with him know what that could possibly mean.

“Let him do what he’s always good at.”

The young CEO looked up with a smile that was not quite genuine in Jongdae’s eyes and it freaked him out even more than he already was. The glint in his friend’s eyes was more than enough to warn him that all hell will breaks loose soon.

Jongdae sighed miserably from his seat. The loud ticking from the clock on the wall was pissing him off.

 

 

_“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun’s soft whisper broke their momentary silence, unfreezing the time they were locked in. The smaller man bowed his head apologetically before he tried to walk passed him in hurry, trying to get into the lift without drawing more attention to himself._

_Chanyeol snapped out of his trance and was quick to grab the smaller’s arm, securing it in a painfully tight grip. He swore he saw the other man winced and he hated the way his grip flattered by instinct._

_“Chanyeol—”_

_“You forgot your sunflower.” He cut him off before he picked up the flower from the floor._

_He knew that his eyes had looked cold then. He knew that there was nothing but bitterness dripping from every word that was about to come out from his mouth and yet, he still said them, loud and clear enough for Baekhyun to hear but not enough for everyone around them._

_“I know you love to throw away things but I thought you love sunflowers, or have you lost your interest in that too?”_

_He saw Baekhyun’s clenched fist and a smirk made it way to his full lips. It was sickening and childish but Chanyeol wanted—he had wanted—to inflict pains on the man standing before his eyes._

_“It’s nice meeting you here, Mr. Byun Baekhyun.” He said them louder this time and subconsciously taking a step back. “Next time, try to refrain bringing sunflower into my office.” He added, leaning slightly closer to Baekhyun and whisper, “I hate them.”_

_He didn’t miss the shock and the pains flickering in the smaller man’s eyes, and his heart soared in joy despite the discomfort tugging at the loose end of his short celebration. He smiled and walked away all the while thinking he was doing himself a favour but sadly, too blind to see the sadness in the pair of eyes that followed his disappearing back from the scene afterwards._

**_—_ **

 

 

 _“Did you know that the magazine belongs to him?”_ Kyungsoo’s voice sounded distant on the phone but Baekhyun could hear the worries etched on his words.

 _“Baekhyun, did you know or not?”_ his friend asked again from the other line, his voice becoming tensed.

“I…” he hesitated and that was his first mistake because Kyungsoo knew him like the back of his hand.

 _“You knew!”_ his friend cut him off with his accusing tone and Baekhyun resort to biting his lower lips and kept mum as his friend spitting his anger on the phone.

_“You fucking knew and you still go. I can’t believe you, Baekhyun! You know how vengeful and childish Chanyeol can be and you still choose to work with him. Fuck, I can’t understand how your mind work.”_

“Kyungsoo, you worried too much. You make it sounds like Chanyeol is going to kill me. He won’t, I know him.”

He lied. He didn’t know. He knows nothing about this new Chanyeol. The person he knew back then won’t hold his arm with so much force that he could feel the pain from the grip alone—no, he won’t even dare to hurt Baekhyun because the Chanyeol that he knew years ago was soft hearted, loving and kind.

_“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you forgot that you broke his heart, Baek. You fucking broke that man’s heart! What makes you think he would stay idly now that he knows you’re working for him?!”_

 Baekhyun sighed at the reminder of what he had done, of what he had destroyed. There were knots forming in his stomach, pains spreading to his entire being as he enveloped himself in a cage of his own hands, hiding himself from the painful memories.

“I—I just want to see him again.” He sobbed to the phone. The tears rolling down from his eyes and he let them fall without any effort to wipe them away.

“I _missed_ him, Soo.”

 

 

****

 

_{ these eyes, these hands,_

_these smiles and these stares—_

_they are calling you back to me }_

 

 

Baekhyun was in the midst of setting up his tools for the photoshoot. He had looked through the choices of clothes and the setting of the set. Despite being a bubbly and cheerful person, Baekhyun took his works seriously and adding to it, he’s a perfectionist—he’d hate if anything go amiss while he is in charge.

He liked to be in control when it comes to work; it gives him a peace of mind and satisfaction.

But of course, the universe and Park Chanyeol have other plans for him.

“Gina, where’s the models? I thought I said I need them to be ready ten minutes ago?” he asked his assigned assistant with a frown on his face. To Baekhyun, above everything else, he liked punctuality; a minute wasted would means delaying another work.

Gina looked over at the other end of the studio, to the place where the models were getting ready and instead of answering him right away, the girl scratched her head with a hesitated face.

“What’s wrong now?” he looked at the girl expectantly.

“Well, Mr. Byun—”

“Baekhyun,” he corrected her and the girl nodded quickly, probably too stunned to say anything else.

“Baekhyun.” She said as if she was testing how his name rolling out of her tongue.

“Gina?” he reminded her with a raised eyebrow after a few seconds of silence.

“Uhm…Mr. Park sent in new clothes around fifteen minutes so the models are changing and fixing the fitting for their clothes.”

Baekhyun blinked his eyes in disbelief; as if his assistant was speaking in a foreign language he couldn’t understand.

“What??”

“Mr. Park—”

“ _No_ ,” he cut her off sharply, his jaw tightening as he tried his best to suppress his annoyance. “What did he do?”

Silence,

“He changed the clothes.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath and closed his eyes in his attempt to stay sane.

“What clothes?” he asked after he had calmed down enough to say anything at all.

Gina was about to open her mouth when they both heard the shuffling of footsteps from behind him. He looked over his shoulder and for a moment, he swears, he swears to god he would have thrown the camera in his hand to the floor if he ever let his angers get the best of him.

His eyes drifted back to the set design that he had set with the other staffs. He couldn’t help the long sigh from leaving his mouth. The new clothes that Chanyeol sent won’t blend that well with their set. He would have to make some changes and that could only mean more times to be wasted.

“ _Fucking_ Park Chanyeol and his childish revenge.” He muttered under his breath, but he was sure that Gina heard him clearly anyway because the girl let out a choke sound and tried to cover it with a very bad cough afterward.

_Adapt, Baekhyun, adapt. This is what you always do. This is what you’re good at, so nothing, not even this silly retaliation from an immature CEO would stop you from doing your job._

Baekhyun clucked his tongue as he walked begrudgingly to start his works, _again_.

 

**_—_ **

They met 5 hours later when Baekhyun was nearly done with the photoshoot. He was taking the photos of the last model, giving instructions when it’s due but most of the times, he preferred to let the models do their job because people would deliver the best of their best when they are at their most comfortable state.

He adjusted his camera and zoom in his lenses before he captured her in high speed shutter. His face mould into a thoughtful and calm expression as he paused every now and then to look at the photos on the display screen. He had gradually feeling calm throughout the photoshoot because this is his element, this is where he belongs to.

“You know,”

He halted his breath when the familiar deep voice greeted his ears, completely aware of how his body had gone rigid at the mere thought of being in the same space as the other. He inhaled a very much needed air and turned around to face the CEO.

He cocked an eyebrow the moment they locked eyes; daringly pushing the taller man to finish his comment. You see, Byun Baekhyun might be small and more often than not, let himself be swarmed with emotional wreckage that made him appeared weak and fragile, but he was also a man with pride; a very stubborn man.

Chanyeol flashed him his charmingly bitter smile and glanced at the screen of the computer beside him.

“For someone who used to be called a prodigy, you works…they are _mediocre_.”

Baekhyun snorted. _Mediocre?_

“And what do you know about photography, Mr. Park?” he smiled sweetly.

“I know enough to own one of the best-selling magazines in Korea, Mr. Byun. The very same magazine that you are working for right now.”

“You owned the magazine but I owned the skills, Mr. Park.” He replied with a stoic face. Today had been a long day for him and the rest of the people in the studio. He wasn’t in his best mood to entertain a cocky CEO interrupting his works.

“Well, what would the world says when they see these mediocre shots as your comeback? ‘ _The prodigy lost his magic’_ sounds like a good title, doesn’t it?”

Baekhyun gritted his teeth and unconsciously balled up his fist.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know, Byun. Why don’t you figure that one out? Because I’m sure as hell wouldn’t approve these trash into my magazine.”

Baekhyun was pulled out of his momentary trance as loud gasps were heard from the staffs and the models around them. He had forgotten about their silence audiences, too immersed in the grip of Chanyeol’s hatred stares. But to hell with all of them when he stride to the tall CEO, stomping his feet on the floor with his grim face.

“Do you think this is a joke, Park?” he whispered with gritted teeth as he stood in front of the other man and looked up with so much rage in his eyes. “I know that your greatest desire right now is to inflict pains and hurt me but do not—I swear to god, Park— _do not_ mess with _MY_ works, _THEIR_ works for our petty feud!”

Chanyeol remained calm, quietly looking at him from head to toe with his mocking eyes.

“I’m not sure what petty feud are you referring to, Byun. I’m merely stating my opinions for the sake of my own magazine.” The taller man looked around the studio and smiled. “I guess, I should take my leave now. Wouldn’t want to interrupt your works now, don’t I?”

Chanyeol nodded briefly to him before he walked away, leaving Baekhyun to deal with his own frustration. His mind felt fuzzy and his whole body is screaming of fatigue, he might as well collapse on the floor right here and then. It took everything in him to take in that long deep breath as he stared at his own camera—silently questioning his own capabilities. He could feel the insecurities building up in him and his hands were shaking as he tried to grip harder on his camera.

_Are they really trash? His photos—are they really that bad?_

He looked up to see Gina watching him with something akin to sympathy and he sighed.

“Gina, I’m sorry to break this to you but we might have to redo this whole thing again.”

The girl only nodded understandingly before she proceeded to inform the rest of the staffs in the studio.

 

 

**_—_ **

_“When are you coming back?”_

Baekhyun chuckled at the very first question Kyungsoo threw to him just as he answered the phone.

“Stop that. You’re starting to sound like my mother.”

_“That is my job.”_

“I’m not coming back anytime soon.” He calmly dropped the news after he was done laughing at Kyungsoo’s short answer.

For a moment, his friend was quiet on the other line but Baekhyun was well prepared for the incoming storm.

_“What do you mean—Baekhyun, what did you do?”_

“I signed another contract. I’m helping them with their next month issue.” Baekhyun squinted his small eyes and pulled his phone away from his ears a second before he heard the thunder striking the silence.

_“BYUN FUCKING BAEKHYUN!”_

 

 

_{ how do you sleep at night,_

_knowing very well that you broke my heart? }_

 

_“Hey Baekhyun,”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“I think I’m in love.”_

_“You think you’re in love…” Baekhyun mumbled slowly as he nodded, not really paying much attention to what his friend was saying. A beat passed and his eyes widened at the sudden realization of what he had just repeated absentmindedly. “Holy shit, you’re in love?!”_

_Chanyeol chuckled at Baekhyun’s comical face._

_How do you fall in love? Do you just wake up one day and decided that you’re in love; or do you look at someone long enough to be in love? Just how do you do love?_

_“Who is it?”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“Who’s the lucky one?”_

_Chanyeol remained silent, leaving his friend’s question unanswered. He wasn’t sure himself what he was waiting for—perhaps a sign or anything that would give out what the man beside him truly feel. He locked his eyes on Baekhyun; who was suddenly busy again with his camera. His small friend was looking everywhere else but him. He watched as worries clouding the other man’s face. He observed as those beautiful thin lips trembled with fears while he hold back his answer._

_“Idiot,” Chanyeol snorted._

_Baekhyun stopped rubbing the piece of clothes on his precious camera and snapped back at his friend, only to find the other watching him with his blinding smile. He could hear his heartbeat paused fleetingly and he blinked his eyes briskly—like a high speed shutter lens capturing a moment before it was swallowed by time._

_Chanyeol’s eyes were smiling when he draped his long arm around Baekhyun’s wide shoulders and leaned closer to his friend’s ear._

_“It’s you.”_

_A pause._

_“Wha—”_

_“It’s you._ _It has always been you.”_ _He repeated, eyes soft and lips wide with a smile._

_“But here is the plot twist, Byun: I am the lucky one, not you.”_

_{ when the clouds clear out,_

_where will you be? }_

 

“Ahh!”

Baekhyun stared absentmindedly on his now drench shirt. The black colour from the coffee was now spreading and decorating the white fabric of his clothes. It was his favourite shirt and the stain would be a pain to remove. He was ready to shoot up in anger but it was stuck in his throat when he looked up and found Chanyeol staring back at him, amused.

“Oh, I didn’t see you there.”

The taller man had said it so casually without a pinch of guilt, it made Baekhyun’s blood boiled despite his attempt to calm himself. He knows he should be thankful that the drink wasn’t hot at all—it was lukewarm but not enough to burn his skin—but would you really blame him for thinking that the CEO had purposely came into his way and spilled his drink on him?

Chanyeol placed his now half-empty cup of coffee on the table beside them and grimace at his sticky hand.

“There goes my morning coffee.”

“Who would even drink their coffee cold like that? They taste disgusting.” Baekhyun deadpanned.

Chanyeol’s jaw tightened before he spoke, “Well, would you prefer them hot when they spilled on you?”

Baekhyun sighed tiredly. He hadn’t had any proper sleep since the past few days and the fatigue is starting to kill him softly inside. He wasn’t sure why he’s acting like a fool, willingly letting Chanyeol to torment him when he has the choice to walk away.

But could he really do it the second time?

“You’re so childish, Yeol.” Baekhyun muttered before he walked away, completely ignoring the way Chanyeol’s eyes widened at the nickname he had used.

_“Yeol. Yeolli. Chanyeolli!”_

_“Stop calling me that!”_

_“But why? They’re cute. I like cute and you’re cute!”_

_“I’m not cute, Baek.”_

_“Yes, you are. My cute and handsome Yeolli.”_

_{ will you let my sun finally shine_

_or will you keep raining on my parade? }_

 

 

“If you are going to keep on sulking like this, why would you torture him like that?” Jongdae commented offhandedly as he crossed his legs on the seat.

Chanyeol had his face slumped on an open document file while his long limbs spread on the desk, covering almost the entire space. He had been acting like that almost every day now that Jongdae can’t help but looked at his friend with a very judging face. He hates tall people and their long limbs.

“I did not torture anyone.” Chanyeol groaned out whilst he struggled to sit up properly. “Stop talking like I’m some sort of a cruel boss. I’m not.”

Jongdae rolled his eyes, annoyed by the taller man’s ignorance.

“Said the person who make the poor man redo a photoshoot because you called his works a trash—that was a very low blow from you, Park Chanyeol. You also make him stay overnight at the studio because you demanded him to submit the final edited photos by the next morning—he barely get any sleep afterwards but you forced him to proceed with another job straight away after that. Oh and not to forget that one time you had him run errands for you as if you do not have your own errand boy paid for such jobs. All of these happened in the span of one week, Chanyeol. One _fucking_ week. Have mercy on the poor soul!”

Chanyeol leaned back on his chair with a scowl on his face.

“Since when did you switched side?” he questioned after Jongdae was done spitting his comments.

“I wasn’t in any side since the beginning!” his friend exclaimed exasperatedly.

“Again, I’m not torturing anyone. Those are part of his job and if the photos did not come out as per what I expected, then that could only means he was not doing his job good enough. Simply just that.”

“You’re just finding excuses to make him suffer.”

He scoffed. “He’ll survive. Byun Baekhyun has always been a strong willed man.”

“Well, even a strong willed man can reach his limit. I’m serious, Chanyeol. Stop whatever you are doing right now. Forget about your petty grudge for a moment and be professional. He looks like he’s going to collapse anytime soon. If Kyungsoo ever find out about this, you’re going to be dead.”

Chanyeol’s face hardened at the mention of that name. Kyungsoo? _Do Kyungsoo?_

“You mean the man he _whore_ himself to?”

 _“Chanyeol!”_  

 “The very same man I got cheated to because my sad excuse of a fiancé couldn’t keep his dick in his pants? Wait, my _ex fiancé._ ” he spat those words without thinking, too gone in his own anger that he did not hear the soft knocks on the wood or the sound of the door opening at the same time he called his first love a _whore_ out of a spite.

_“Fuck!”_

He could barely hear the warning in his friend’s voice because his eyes were caught by a familiar pair of slanted puppy eyes. His breath was knock out of his lungs as he watched those lovely eyes gradually filled with hurt and sadness—as if his words had opened a wound that was never healed, the pains linger and stay. He couldn’t even explain the sting he felt in his heart.

He couldn’t register anything else after that, everything happened too fast for his mind to take them all in. He saw Baekhyun watching him from the door, he saw the other man opened his mouth and said something but nothing came into his head—he couldn’t hear any of the words that Baekhyun said over the loud thumping of his frantic heart. He sat frozen on his seat because the hurts flashed in those pair of eyes had paralyzed him—cuffing him still in his place.

_What have I done?_

“What the _fuck_ is wrong with you, Chanyeol?!”

The loud thud of a closing door and Jongdae’s fuming voice came rushing into his ears all at once, forcing him out of his reverie. His friend was looking at him with a very disappointed face—it was the first time he had ever saw Jongdae gave him such look. The other man was whiny but probably the kindest person he had ever befriended. Jongdae would never look at him like that unless he truly _fucked_ up.

“I…” for the first time in the past three years, Chanyeol was left speechless.

“I have had enough of this stupidity.” Jongdae muttered under his breath as he ran his hands over his silky hair. He had to do something to stop all these nonsenses.

“You used to be so in love with him. God, even the sight of you both together used to make me wanted to puke rainbow. I bet on my life that even as we speak right now, in this suffocating office of yours that you’re still very much in love with Baekhyun.” He spitted frustratedly.

“So, why the hell are you doing this?”

Chanyeol bit his lower lips and clenched his fists.

“Because he cheated on me!” He yelled out in frustration as he punched his desk out of anger. “Byun Baekhyun left me for someone he said was just his _best friend._ He left me because he said he doesn’t _love_ me anymore—that he just woke up one day and decided that he had lost his interest on me; his _fiancé_!”

He heard his friend’s loud and deep sigh. Jongdae was shaking his head in disappointment.

“You know Baekhyun more than I do—more than anyone will ever do, yet it never crossed your mind at all if he is really capable to do such thing to you?”

Chanyeol’s face faltered.

“Cheating on you?” Jongdae snorted. “Byun Baekhyun is probably more in love with you than you to him. What do you think makes him stay here willingly and goes through this hell you have so passionately create for him when he could have chosen somewhere better to make his _damn_ comeback? You don’t really think that he chose this magazine because he doesn’t have anywhere else to go, do you?”

Chanyeol frowned.

“Why are you suddenly saying all of this now? You have 3 _fucking_ years to say something, so why now?”

“Who said I never said anything? I tried, Chanyeol! I’ve tried so many times to talk some sense into your head but you shut me out, you shut everyone out because you were too blinded by your own anger, by your own jealousy to see the bigger picture!”

“Try to use your brain for once when you’re dealing with your heart instead of letting your emotions do all the thinking. Then maybe Kyungsoo and I will have one less idiot to deal with.”

_{ we shared the same wound_

_yet you could only see yours_

_while I, ours }_

 

 

_“You mean the man he whore himself to?”_

_“Chanyeol!”_

_“The very same man I got cheated to because my sad excuse of a fiancé couldn’t keep his dick in his pants? Wait, my ex fiancé.”_

He heard that familiar deep voice as loud and clear as the day just as he push the door open. He heard the venom, the hatred lacing every word that came out of those full lips loud enough for each of them to slash and stab the most delicate organ just beneath his chest.

He stood still for a few seconds when the two occupants of the room acknowledged his presence.

“I’m sorry, I thought you heard my knocks.” Baekhyun said calmly with his neutral face despite the visible trembles of his small body.

_Weak,_

“I wanted to give you the draft for the next photoshoot concept but I guess I’ll just leave it on your secretary’s desk now.”

_So weak,_

“Oh, and Mr. Park, next time you decided to badmouth me and call me a _whore_ , do it to my face and not behind closed door. I would appreciate that better. Have a good evening, gentlemen.” Baekhyun nodded stiffly before he closed the door hastily, eager to leave the office as soon as he can because he doesn’t know how much longer could his feet carry him without collapsing on his next step.

He doesn’t know how long he can hold in the aches spreading inside of him like a wildfire, turning his whole being numb and hollow. He thought he would be completely burned out before he could even takes his next breath—his light is fading.

The pains were too much for him to handle.

 

 

**_—_ **

****

 

Chanyeol keyed in the passcode to his suite and dragged his feet across the expensive marble. He couldn’t forget the image of Baekhyun looking at him with so much sadness in his eyes. His friend’s words still echoing in the farthest corner of his mind; knocking and pushing their way into his head—persistent and annoying like Jongdae, himself.

He didn’t even realized when his feet stopped him right in front of the room; the one he had forbid everyone from entering, everyone except for him. His hand put in the key inside on the key hole mechanically; like an action done countless of times that his body is registering what to do before his mind could give any instruction.

The door was opened with a click and he was greeted by the row and row of photos clipped onto the strings around the room. Red light flooding the entire space as Chanyeol stepped inside. His eyes roamed around and stayed long enough on every picture for him to remember when it was taken or what exactly transpired when the photo was taken. Living together with Baekhyun for years and watching him grow himself in his passion for photography had rubbed onto Chanyeol as well.

This darkroom was built solely for Baekhyun, anyway.

Chanyeol stopped at a specific photo, his long fingers reaching out to it as he stared; long and hard as if he wants to bore holes in it before his eyes soften and a sad smile appeared.

It was a photo of a young Baekhyun and him in their college days—the very first photo that they had taken with each other after they became close. Baekhyun’s eyes disappeared into a crescent moon and his mouth is wide with his rectangular smile. Chanyeol had his long hand around the other’s broad shoulder with an equal wide smile. They just ate pizza for dinner—it was Baekhyun’s favourite, the latter was so happy that day even his photo is still glowing ten years later. 

Baekhyun was right; these photos, they weren’t only moments captured by lens but they were also times stopped to seize the emotions that came with those moments too; fascinating yet heart breaking because no matter how much he wanted to believe that they have stopped time in a single shot, they didn’t. Time still move and they were left, trapped in the moment.

Looking at these photos of them both make his heart feels heavy with invisible weights. They fought and made up, cried and laughed countless of times because that’s what couples do, that’s what best friends do and they were happy, so damn happy and so in love— but what happened then? What had changed?

 

 

**—**

**—**

**—**

_Chanyeol watched in silence as the small boy’s shoulders tremble before he heard the painful sobbing; slow and soft yet so heart-breaking. He was 12 years old that year and so was the sad boy._

_He won’t say that he fully understand what had happened but his mama told him that when people die, they will go to another place; a better place which is far away from here. They will not be coming back, even when they still have their loved ones here because that’s how the universe works—when your time is up, you’ll have to go—and that was what happened to the small boy’s parents._

_They went to work one morning but never came back. They left the poor boy alone. He knew because he was there at their funeral. Despite the relatives and people crowding the hall, the small boy stood alone beside their coffins; with his shoulders hunched and eyes red and puffy. It was then that Chanyeol had learned what will happened when people die;_

_They leave people behind; people who have cared for them, love them with all of their hearts._

_Sometimes, they leave name; a legacy to be remembered._

_And sometimes, they leave nothing but a fading memories; alone and forgotten in a dusty corner._

_Just the thought alone makes Chanyeol sad because how the boy would live now without his mama and papa? He couldn’t even imagine himself waking up alone in his house, no mama to cook his favourite dish and no papa to bring him out to the park._

_That must be so lonely and sad._

_Chanyeol walked quietly across the pavement and stop just a few shy steps away from the boy. He just moved in to that neighbourhood around a month ago and he hadn’t had the chance to befriend anyone yet. So truthfully, he was a bit nervous to come up here when he doesn’t even know the boy’s name. He took out a strawberry flavoured lollipop from his pocket and thrust his open palm with the candy to the boy._

_A minute passed before the boy looked up from his knees, his eyes were red and puffy again. It made Chanyeol even sadder than he already is._

_“Do you want some candy?” he started. “My mama said that candies always make me feel better,” he paused and tilted his head, thinking hard. “She also said that it’s not good for my teeth but it doesn’t matter, candies always make me happy. Here, take one.” He pushed his right hand forward again._

_The small boy was quiet and was openly staring at him now._

_Chanyeol rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, his other hand was still stretched out, patiently offering the lollipop to the other boy._

_“Uhm, its strawberry?” he probed._

_He watched consciously as the boy stood up slowly, his small puppy like eyes were looking at Chanyeol all the time. The boy bit his lower lips as if he was contemplating if he could trust Chanyeol or not. He cheered quietly in the inside when he saw those small and slim fingers reaching out to take the lollipop from his palm._

_“I like strawberry.” Chanyeol heard the boy whispered softly in between his hiccups and sniffing._

_He couldn’t help but to smile so wide, his face all scrunched up now._

_“That’s great! Eat them quickly.” He urged. “And then you’ll be happy again.”_

_Children’s mind are so pure and innocent._

_“Don’t be sad anymore.” He pouted._

_The boy simply gaped at him with his mouth slightly open. Chanyeol chuckled, he find him cute._

_“Baekhyun, honey! Where are you?”_

_A woman’s voice, whom Chanyeol thinks belonged to the boy—Baekhyun’s grandmother called from inside the house, startling the boys. They both glanced over the slightly ajar door before Baekhyun turned back to him._

_His eyes were still puffy and his cute button nose was red but Baekhyun still looked pretty to Chanyeol’s innocent eyes. A shy smile made its way to the other’s thin lips._

_“Thank you.” the pretty boy whispered softly before he turned around and went into the house, leaving Chanyeol smiling stupidly on their front yard._

_That was the last time they saw each other._

_Chanyeol learned later from his mama that Baekhyun moved away to live with his grandmother. He was sad because how could he ever forget about the boy with the saddest eyes._

**_—_ **

_The next time they met was on their first week of college—7 years later._

_Chanyeol took it to himself to learn journalism with business management as his minor. He wasn’t really ecstatic with his choice but he will make do with what he got. Regardless of what he choose, he was still going to take over his father’s business when the time calls for it._

_The first few days at the college were an okay for him. Nothing remarkable had happened yet until the lunch hour of the fourth day. He was on his way to the café across the art building when someone’s body collided with him. He almost fell onto his back, along with the other, if he doesn’t have such a good reflex. His hand immediately grabbed the poll beside them while his other hand wrapped around the other’s small waist._

_Chanyeol blinked in disbelief as his gaze fell on the face of the boy, who was busy apologizing to him. They were standing awkwardly in front of each other, with Chanyeol’s hand still holding the poll and the other left hanging mid-air from what was supposed to be the boy’s waist._

_“Baekhyun?”_

_The other boy stopped his bowing and glanced up to meet his eyes. Chanyeol felt like the air was punched out of his lungs when he saw the recognition in the other’s small eyes. His cute button nose scrunched up as his thin lips were pulled upward._

_“Strawberry boy?” His voice was silky and soft, it matched well with his pretty face._

_“Chanyeol? Is that you??”_

_He remembers me._

_What are the odds for them to meet again? For Baekhyun to remember him at all?_

_“I would remember those big ears anywhere!”_

_Chanyeol groaned, “That’s not how I want you to remember me!”_

_The laughter that he heard afterward was the beautiful melody he had ever encountered—he swore he wasn’t exaggerating._

**_—_ **

_“Chanyeol,” he lifted his head to see Baekhyun’s blinding smile greeted him back. The latter was standing beside their table instead of sliding in to sit across him like he usually did._

_“Baekhyun,” he smiled back, “why aren’t you sitting?”_

_His friend only beamed at him before he stepped aside, revealing another person behind his back. Chanyeol cocked his eyebrows, expecting an introduction to follow suit when he spotted the other guy. His eyes were as big as Chanyeol but his build was a lot smaller, probably shorter than Baekhyun too._

_“Meet Kyungsoo, my best friend from high school!”_

_Chanyeol tilted his head and smiled again, this time friendlier. “Hi Kyungsoo, I’m Chanyeol. Baekhyun’s best friend from college.”_

_Baekhyun’s boisterous laughter filled the dining afterward. Kyungsoo and him, both slide into the seat across Chanyeol afterward. The night went well for Baekhyun and the two new friends, but nobody noticed the occasional glances that Chanyeol threw to Kyungsoo whenever Baekhyun draped himself all over the former._

**_—_ **

_“It’s you.”_

_A pause._

_“Wha—”_

_“It’s you. It has always been you.” He repeated, eyes soft and lips wide with a smile._

_He leaned his head slightly closer and whispered softly to Baekhyun’s ear. “But here is the plot twist, Byun: I am the lucky one, not you.”_

_When the two of them became best friends, everyone else was counting days for them to declare their undying love for each other. It was sad to see how much faith the people around them have on their friendship, but Chanyeol had secretly cheered for every encouraging words that their friends had uttered. His heart soared whenever he caught the red colour decorating Baekhyun’s mochi cheeks whenever a sarcastic remark over their close bond was made._

_Chanyeol was in love and he was confident that it wasn’t one sided. He won’t die from Hanahaki disease—a fictional disease he once read during his idle times at home; it scarred him for life because dying from choking on flower petals sound so aesthetic until you learn the reason behind the beautiful petals._

_He was probably too confident for his own good because in the midst of him thinking he was being sweet and romantic in declaring his love, a pretty hard slap met his chest, causing him to take a step back and coughing._

_“Oww! What was that for?!” Chanyeol snapped as he rubbed his chest. For someone with a small build, Baekhyun was pretty strong. His strength always caught him off guard._

_“Stop being sappy and cringey, Yeol. You weird me out.” Baekhyun told him while laughing._

_Chanyeol’s smile fell flat on his face. Does this means he was rejected? Baekhyun doesn’t love him like he does? He could feel his chest tightening, clenching his heart with so much force, he was knocked out of his breath._

_Was this how heartbreak supposed to taste like? Bitter and painful. He muted the rest of the world and listen to only the sound of his heart breaking into million pieces._

_“Hey, Chanyeol?” he could still hear Baekhyun’s faint voice over the deafening sound of his sorrow._

_“Hey,”_

_The voice slowly became clearer and Chanyeol let those pretty and dainty fingers cupped his face, the other man’s breath fanning him as the former pulled Chanyeol closer to him._

_Baekhyun snorted._

_“You are such a drama queen. I haven’t even give my answer yet!” the small man rolled his eyes but his fingers remained on his face._

_“Idiot,” The soft voice breathed softly._

_Chanyeol lifted his eyes and stared straight into his best friend’s eyes._

_“It’s you too.”_

_“It has always been you.” Baekhyun said gently. His eyes roamed around as if he was searching the answer for an unspoken question in Chanyeol’s eyes._

_“Chanyeol,”_

_There was a glint in his eyes and Chanyeol held his breath,_

_Baekhyun stood on his tiptoes as he pulled himself upward, his hands remained on Chanyeol’s shoulders as a support before he pressed his lips against Chanyeol’s plump ones._

_“I think I’m in love too.”_

**_—_ **

_Chanyeol was twenty two when he lost his moon; the only queen in his life—his mother._

_They just buried her coffin that evening and Baekhyun found him crying miserably in a hidden spot just beside the lake. It was the place he always go when he was a child; a little sanctuary for the little Chanyeol._

_His boyfriend didn’t say anything when he spotted him. Baekhyun just simply crouched down beside him and engulf him in a hug. His small body covered half of Chanyeol huge form, hiding his face in the nook of the smaller’s neck._

_Baekhyun had always been the strongest one between them both—despite how small he appeared to be. His presence was the only thing that Chanyeol need right now._

_“I hate cancer. I despise them.” His hoarse voice was muffled by Baekhyun’s white crisp shirt. The latter had taken off his back suit before he came to find him._

_It was cancer; the cruel illness that slipped in quietly, spreading its venom deep into the root, into the core of the patients before it kills them—first, their soul. Second, their life._

_Baekhyun was silence as he placed his hand on Chanyeol’s head—dainty fingers smoothening the silky black hair. He let his small boyfriend sway their body in a slow rhythm, a quiet yet comfortable humming could be heard later._

_They stayed like that for the longest of time before Chanyeol sat up abruptly, alerting Baekhyun who looked at him with widened eyes._

_“Baekhyun, promise me something. Please…” he begged as he scrambled to grab his boyfriend’s hands._

_“Chanyeol—hey, I’ll be here. I promise.”_

_Chanyeol shook his head and reached up to cup Baekhyun’s face._

_“No, not that. I—I want you to promise me,” he gulped down and continued to stare hysterically into the other’s beautiful brown eyes. “promise me that you will never leave me for the same reason—I can’t—I swear to god, I can’t bear losing you the same way. It’s going to break me, Baek. It’s going to destroy me.” He cried as he leaned his forehead against Baekhyun’s, his body trembled for the umpteenth time that day while another sob left his mouth._

_“Hey baby, look at me.” Baekhyun was the one who was cupping Chanyeol’s face now. He didn’t remember when had the other man started crying too but Baekhyun’s eyes were wet with droplet of tears. “Look at me.” He requested desperately, almost like a demand._

_When they finally locked their eyes onto one another, a sad smile welcomed him._

_“I swear, even if it cost my own life, I won’t let you go through this again.” Baekhyun sounded so sincere; his voice a beautiful melody to Chanyeol’s ears._

_Chanyeol smiled albeit struggling with his glossy eyes and messy face._

_“If it cost you your own life then wouldn’t it defeat the purpose of this promise?” he teased his boyfriend._

_Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Oh shut up, Park Chanyeol.”_

_He laughed quietly,_

_“I love you, puppy.” He pecked on the smaller man’s pouty lips, to which was replied back with another peck from Baekhyun._

_“I love you too, giant.”_

**_—_ **

_It was on their sixth year anniversary when Chanyeol brought Baekhyun to the apartment at the rich side of the town. The latter was confused when Chanyeol insisted for him to come to this luxury apartment after their dinner._

_Baekhyun was a well-known photographer by then while Canyeol was taking his sweet time building his own empire.  They have been living together since their second year of being together; at a one room apartment that they both rented using their own savings. Baekhyun was content with everything they have, even when he had to rent a space in a studio for him to develop his photos, he was content and happy._

_But Chanyeol wanted more, he wanted more for his Baekhyun._

_“Yeol, what are we doing here?” Baekhyun questioned. He looked around the place confusedly. The house was situated at the top of a tower building and Baekhyun couldn’t imagine the price for such an exclusive place—although he knows that his pays and Chanyeol’s combined would be more than enough to live in such place._

_“What is it?” the smaller one asked again when he didn’t received any answer from his boyfriend._

_“I wanted to show you something.”_

_He grabbed Baekhyun’s small wrist and pulled the man along with him as he sauntered across the kitchen and stopped in front of a door._

_“Open it.” Chanyeol instructed as he put the key on the latter’s open palm._

_“Are you sure this is okay?” he nodded enthusiastically. Baekhyun shrugged and proceeded to put the key inside of the lock. The door was opened with a click and Baekhyun pushed it gently._

_His jaw dropped the moment they stepped into the room. There were some strings and clippers hanging just above his eyes. He looked on his left and right that was decorated with every equipment needed for him to develop his photos because Baekhyun had always loved to take photos using the old ways._

_Chanyeol clicked on a switch beside the door and the whole room was flooding with red light. Baekhyun looked around in awe before he swirled around to face his boyfriend._

_“Chanyeol, what—”_

_Chanyeol sat on one of his knees, his hand stretched with a ring between his two fingers. His whole life, Chanyeol wasn’t sure what he was doing most of the time. He wasn’t sure if he actually want to continue his studies in the course he had taken. He wasn’t sure if he wants to take over his father’s company. He wasn’t even sure what he wants to wear this morning but if there is anything he is so sure he wants, it would be Baekhyun._

_He wants a life with Baekhyun. He wants to be old and die together with the man standing before him now._

_He never doubted that even once._

_“Chanyeol—”_

_“Baekhyun,” he breathed in, “Will you marry me?”_

_Baekhyun was on his knees the next second, embracing him in a tight hug while hiding his face in between the crook of Chanyeol’s neck. He cupped the smaller man’s face and gently turned it to him._

_Baekhyun’s face was wet with tears that Chanyeol hadn’t realized he had shed and he was suddenly being attacked with worries that he might have done it wrongly. His boyfriend laughed when he saw Chanyeol’s frightened face._

_“Oh god, you haven’t changed a bit after all these years, Chanyeol.”_

_Chanyeol frowned as he watched his boyfriend laughed with tears in his eyes._

_“Baekhyun—”_

_“Yes!” He didn’t get to finish his sentence when Baekhyun cut him off._

_“It’s a yes! A million time yes, Chanyeol!” he answered with a kiss on Chanyeol’s plump lips._

_“I thought I would have to be the one asking you first.” Baekhyun mumbled in between his peck on his now fiancé’s lips._

_Chanyeol laughed sweetly, he leaned their forehead against each other and wipe the tears wetting the other’s cheeks._

_“Idiot, that’s my job.”_

_They laughed, too drowned in each other’s eyes to realize their awkward position on the floor of the darkroom._

_“I love you.”_

**_—_ **

_He didn’t know since when did it started._

_He didn’t know since when did everything started to fall apart._

_Was it when he flied across the country to China for a business deal?_

_He was there for two weeks, leaving Baekhyun alone at their shared apartment. Baekhyun had been complaining about not feeling well but the smaller man was too stubborn to visit the doctor. He had been swallowing painkillers and Panadols behind Chanyeol’s back. It worried him so much but his fiancé had waived him off saying that it was probably the consequences of his lack of sleep during his projects._

_He had wanted to stay but Baekhyun being Baekhyun was fast to deny his wish. He sent Chanyeol off at the airport the very next day because he knew that the business deal in China was very important for Chanyeol’s company. They kept in touch with countless video calls and the occasional phone calls whenever both of them are free but he wasn’t really there. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be._

_Or was it when he had to cancel their meal dates because he got stuck in a meeting, too busy in building his own empire, he forgot about what—whom matter the most?_

_It wasn’t just one but enough for him to count by one hand, that alone was too much for Chanyeol but Baekhyun never got mad at him. His fiancé would only smile understandingly and dismissed his attempts to make amend because the other man had said that sometimes he did it too so they’re even._

_Had he read it wrong this whole time because he couldn’t find any other reasons for whatever shit Baekhyun is doing now. He thought he heard it wrong. He wanted to believe that he had seen it wrong but everything was as clear as the day._

_Baekhyun—_

_Baekhyun was cheating on him?_

_“I’m going out.”_

_Baekhyun’s voice echoed in their quiet house, startling Chanyeol who was sitting in his study room. His fiancé stood by the door, his eyes had looked sunken, face tired. He wondered if the other man get any rest at all these days._

_“Oh,” came his stupid one word reply._

_“Where are you going?”_

_“Studio. There are some stuffs that need to be checked and submitted by today.”_

_“Do you want me to drive you there? You looked like you would need a ride. Did you even sleep last night?” Chanyeol asked, worried._

_“It’s alright, I’ll drive myself there. I’m not sure at what time will I be done. You need your rest too.” Baekhyun smiled albeit weakly, it was as if he was tired of being genuine with him. Chanyeol pursed his lips quietly._

_“Alright. Please be safe.”_

_Baekhyun nodded before he slowly turned his back to him._

_“Baekhyun?” Baekhyun paused and looked over his shoulder._

_“I love you.” He reminded him, desperately trying to hold onto any string left that is still connecting him to the other man._

_“I love you too.” Baekhyun smiled gently this time before he walked away, leaving Chanyeol to deal with his inner demon._

_He counted to ten before he took his coat and rushed out of their shared suite. If he counted right, Baekhyun wouldn’t be that far by now. He purposely went straight to the lobby instead of going to their parking lot. He had a hunch that Baekhyun wouldn’t be driving like he had told him._

_He just reached the main entrance when he caught his fiancé entering a car that was parked not far from the building’s entrance door. He held his breath and pretended that the sharp pains he felt in his chest weren’t there when he saw who the driver was._

_Do Kyungsoo._

**_—_ **

_“I think we should end this.”_

_Chanyeol snapped his head to Baekhyun’s direction. His fiancé was sitting on their couch while Chanyeol was just walking out of their kitchen._

_“What do you mean?” he knew what Baekhyun’s meant with his words, he fucking knew everything but he can’t—he couldn’t bring it to himself to let go. He loved Baekhyun too much to let him go without any fight._

_“This relationship—”_

_“Why?” He didn’t let Baekhyun to finish his sentence, even when he knew what words will come out from those mouth._

_“I—what we have—had, what we had is no longer there.”_

_Chanyeol frowned. The space between his eyebrows creased as he stared down at the smaller man._

_“What do you mean it’s no longer there?” he barked. “It’s still here. I can feel it in my bones, in my chest. What we have is still here, Baekhyun.”_

_“That’s yours. Not mine!” Baekhyun cried out. He stood up and turned to face Chanyeol. His eyes were glossy, the tears are threatening to fall again._

_Chanyeol studied the other in silence._

_Since when does those pretty eyes become that tired and sad? Since when does those lips turned pale and dried? Did Chanyeol not paying attention anymore to his beloved fiancé because the man standing before him right now felt different—he had felt like a stranger; a foreigner barging into their house, demanding Chanyeol to let him go._

_“I loved you once, Chanyeol. I swear to god, those feelings that I have for you was real and valid but—”_

_“—but you suddenly realized that it wasn’t real; those loves you claimed you have for me all this time was a lie, wasn’t it?”_

_“Chanyeol, that’s not true. You know that’s not true.”_

_“Then what is the truth, Baekhyun. Tell me, what the truth is?!”_

_Crack._

_There was a large crack across his heart, tearing the fragile organ apart. Little needles of pains and sorrow pierced through every surface of his body, rendered him numb and lifeless._

_“You love him, don’t you?” he spat._

_He observed as Baekhyun’s contorted with confusion at his sudden jab._

_“I don’t understand.”_

_“Kyungsoo,” he started, “you were in love with him, weren’t you?”_

_“What—where did you get such idea? No, we aren’t—I don’t love him that way!”_

_Chanyeol snorted. “That’s what they all said.”_

_“If you have nothing with him then why? Why did you have to lie every single time you were together with him? Why did you hide, every single time, behind his back instead of mine when I was the one who supposed to protect you? I was the one who supposed to be there for you, not him!”_

_If Chanyeol wasn’t too blinded by his own misery, he would notice how his fiancé’s face faltered, realization downed onto him slowly before he paused for a second; contemplating his choice._

_“Chanyeol…”_

_Baekhyun’s eyes were red and puffy, just like how they used to be when they two met for the first time; Baekhyun was crying, mourning over a lost so big, his sadness reached to Chanyeol, a stranger. But this Baekhyun crying in front of him right now doesn’t feel like his Baekhyun at all._

_“I’m sorry.” It was just a simple apology but it says too much, more than Chanyeol ever needed. Baekhyun didn’t even try to deny it anymore._

_“Don’t,” he begged him—his anger faded into a mist, gone with the dust—but Baekhyun shook his head with his teary eyes and looked down to his feet._

_“I don’t love you anymore.”_

 

 

**—**

**—**

**—**

_{ our love was the love_

_that ended too soon— }_

 

Chanyeol stood behind the wall that separated him from his ex. Baekhyun was standing on the other side of the wall, oblivious to another presence eavesdropping his conversation on phone.

 _“Hey, Kyungsoo!”_ The taller man tensed at the mention of that name. He was just on his way back from his daily walk around the office when he was stopped by the soft voice of the photographer, just as he reached the final step of the staircase.

 _“I’m fine. No, he wasn’t being an asshole today.”_ Chanyeol squinted his eyes. He vaguely guessing that the _asshole_ was him.

 _“You worry too much, Soo. Yeah, I know…what? NO. Don’t come here, I told you I’m fine. Urghh. I hate you.”_ A pause and a giggles could be heard later. Chanyeol bit his lower lip—when was the last time he heard those giggles or laugter? _“Okay, okay. I’ll wait for you here. Yeah, I’ll see you in a bit.”_ Another chuckles. _“I love you too.”_

Chanyeol froze, immobilized by his own invisible pains. He didn’t even realized that Baekhyun had ended the call and now is standing in front of him with a surprised face. He composed himself and coughed to clear out his throat.

“I love you, huh?” he said bitterly. “Wouldn’t expect that from you.”

Baekhyun scowled then but there was no anger, no venom in his glare. Just a pair of eyes filled with exhaustion and grief—the familiarity of the gaze stabbed Chanyeol straight into his heart.

“That’s none of your business.” Baekhyun was ready to go, he was more than willing to escape from the company of the taller man when Chanyeol grabbed his arm, halting his movement.

“What?” he snapped.

“Are you going to meet that little boyfriend of yours?”

“He isn’t my boyfriend.” Baekhyun gritted an answer back.

“Even little kids could lie better than you, Baekhyun.”

The glare that the man sent to him made him snorted.

“At least I’m not the one who act like one. _Childish._ ” Baekhyun clucked his tongue, annoyed.

 “What now, Park? Too stunned to throw me another insult? Or you just run out of nasty words to call me?”

Chanyeol tightened the grip around the other’s arm while Baekhyun glowered to him, testing his patience even more.

“I don’t want to waste them all on you.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Then why don’t you let me go. I also don’t have time to waste talking to you.”

“ _Try me._ ”

Baekhyun started to pull his arm away whilst Chanyeol watched in amusement, he barely even move an inch and the smaller man had started to sweat already.

“You’re hopeless.”

A particular strong tug made the grip Chanyeol had on the other man loose and before he knew it, he lose his own balance. He could feel his body inching slowly to his back, an invisible wall waiting for his fall. His feet losing their grasp over the gravity as he felt himself slowly falling of the stairs.

His eyes widened and shut closed firmly in a matter of seconds. He was preparing for the pains that comes as he rolled down the stairs but it never came, instead he felt his body being pulled forward by a strong hand. And while he was expecting the pains to hit his back, it was his knees and his hands that bear the pains as they supported his fall.

Chanyeol grimaced as he slumped on the floor with his expensive suit all wrinkled.

“Yah! Byun baek—” he started as he get up from the floor, his eyes snapped to his left, expecting to see his ex-fiancé standing beside him while laughing at him but found nobody by his side.

It took him a second before his scrambled to his feet. The thumping of his heart against his ribcage was loud and deafening but he pushed his body forward, forcing his eyes to look down at the end of the flight of stairs.

_Dug._

“Nononononono!” he cried hysterically as he descend the stairs as fast as his feet allowed him.

The moment his hands reached the body lying limp on the floor, he broke into tears. Panic built in a massive speed inside of his core, knocking him off his sane mind when his fingers met with something wet just as he tried to lift Baekhyun’s head from the cold floor. The sickening sweet metallic scent filled his nose as he recognised the red liquid on his fingers.

“Baekhyun, please— _please,_ open your eyes.” Chanyeol begged as he brought Baekhyun limp body closer to his chest. “ _Please…_ ”

 

**—**

_{ —yet stays for the longest of time }_

 

“Someone please, help him!” Chanyeol shouted as soon as he barged into the emergency ward. Blood smeared over his face and his expensive suit, but he couldn’t care less of any of them.

“Baekhyun?!”

He looked up to see a man with a white coat rushing over to him with an alarmed face.

“What happened?”  The man, whom Chanyeol assumed as a doctor, demanded with a tense voice. He didn’t even wait for Chanyeol to give an answer as he took out his small flashlight and check on Baekhyun’s eyes.

“He fell off the stairs while trying to save me.”

The doctor glowered at him for a good few seconds before he turned his back to him and hollered for a stretcher.  The chaos in the emergency doubled as several nurses and medical officers rushed towards them.

“You should have taken better care of him.” The doctor grumbled while he helped the others to move Baekhyun from Chanyeol’s arms to the stretcher. Another doctor gave instruction to stop the bleeding while another prepared to wheel the stretcher away.

It was probably wasn’t meant for Chanyeol to hear but he heard anyway.

“What do you mean by that?” he managed to grab onto the doctor’s arm, halting him from following the rest who were wheeling Baekhyun straight to the surgery room.

“He is a stage four cancer patient.” The doctor said hesitantly before he left in hurry, leaving Chanyeol in his own storm of emotions.

 

**—**

_“Promise me,” Kyungsoo’s eyes widened._

_“What?”_

_“Promise me that you won’t tell Chanyeol anything.”_

_“Baekhyun, no! He deserves to know.”_

_“He doesn’t! He deserves to be happy. He cannot go through this again, Kyungsoo. Please…”_

 

**—**

 

Kyungsoo tried to walk as fast as he could. He almost broke into a sprint if he wasn’t reminded that he was in a hospital.

Never in a million year would he expected to receive a call from Park Chanyeol. He knew the CEO hated him to the core because of a stupid idea that Baekhyun had plotted in the man’s head three years ago. But this isn’t how he imagined it happened. He was supposed to receive a call full with a series of insults and curses. He swore, he rather received such call rather than the ugly cries of a desperate man. It was crazy how madly in love those two were with each other, even after all those years apart.

When he reached the operating room, the first thing he did was to grab on Chanyeol’s collar and dragged him up from his seat. His height be damned, he couldn’t stand this madness anymore.

“If anything happens to him. You’re going to pay for this, Park.” He growled as he pulled the taller man down to his height.

“The doctor said that—that he relapsed.” Chanyeol muttered under his breath. His eyes were empty when they stared back at Kyungsoo’s widened ones.

“What?”

“The cancer,” Chanyeol paused, the word was too heavy for him to carry. “They came back.”

Kyungsoo dropped the other man and took a step back.

“What are you talking about? Baekhyun—he had been free, he was free of them since a year ago!”

Chanyeol laughed bitterly.

“I guess, I’m not the only one he keeps in the dark this time.”

**—**

_{ and if everything else fails,_

_i’ll give up this love,_

_if it means happiness would come your way }_

 

They both sat calmly on the chairs lined up just beside the operating room. The light was still on—the surgery had been ongoing for four hours now. When they both first learned of what had truly happened, Kyungsoo was the second one to fell on the floor; his droplet of tears fell as he cried silently.

He was there with Baekhyun the whole time, yet he didn’t noticed the changes in the other’s health. He didn’t realized how good the other man had become with his acting. The doctor had told them that Baekhyun’s cancer had come back around three months ago, not long before he accepted the offer to become Chanyeol’s photographer.

Chanyeol was quiet beside him. He looked like his soul had abandoned him, leaving an empty vessel as his replacement.

“Baekhyun was diagnosed with lymphoma a year after you were engaged.” Kyungsoo broke the silence first.

“It was when you’re in China. I managed to drag him to the hospital for a check-up after he fainted in your house.” He saw how the other man’s eyes enlarged slightly.

“He fainted?” Kyungsoo pursed his lips as an answer.

“The moment he learned that he has that illness, he made me promised not to tell you a thing. He said he promised you that he won’t let you go through the same thing again. Your mother, she…”

“She died from breast cancer. Baekhyun was there the whole time.” Baekhyun was his anchor during those time, the one who held him together when everything else falls apart. “And when she died, I made him promised me that he wouldn’t leave me the same way she did.”

“It broke him, you know?” Chanyeol lifted his eyes to Kyungsoo, questioning him without a word uttered.

“When he saw you in pains—struggling to deal with your grief and being strong for your mother at the same time—that broke his heart; told me he couldn’t watch you going down the same road again.”

“So he left me…” Kyungsoo nodded his head.

“We never have anything between us.” The other man confessed. “He was more like a brother to me than anything remotely close to a lover. He’s too annoying for me to handle when I get old later.”

They laughed quietly at the image of an old Baekhyun being loud and annoying played in their head.

“I failed him.”

“Well, yeah. You kind of suck. You should have trusted him, you know.” Kyungsoo said truthfully.

“But it doesn’t matter anymore. Baekhyun never see you that way, he never once thought that you had failed him. He literally threw everything away and went to meet you because he said he missed you.”

Chanyeol bit his lower lips.

“If there’s anything that Baekhyun loves, more than his own life in this world, it is you.”

“It has always been you, Park Chanyeol. There was never anyone else.”

**—**

 

 

The beeping sounds of the support machine echoed over the silence room. Chanyeol seated himself beside the bed, his long hands draped over the mattress with one of them caressed the dry black hair. Baekhyun hadn’t wash his hair for a while now. Maybe he could do that for him when the doctor allowed him later.

Chanyeol hummed softly, to the same tunes that Baekhyun used to hum whenever he needs comfort from him. He brushed off the stray hair covering the smaller man’s forehead.

It has been three days since the accident at the staircase. The doctors said that his lovely Baekhyun was in coma. His head bleeding wasn’t that severe but his weak body couldn’t take the impact, it caused his whole system to overwork, forcing him to fall into a deep slumber.

Chanyeol had been living in the hospital room ever since. He was determined to be the first person that Baekhyun see when he opened his eyes. He swore he won’t leave again nor would he let the other left his side either.

“Hey puppy, it’s time to wake up. Don’t you think you’ve been sleeping for too long?” Chanyeol’s deep baritone voice called out to the sleeping man softly.

“I brought your favourite _baby_ today.” Chanyeol placed the Canon F100 on the white hospital bed. The lens cap was open because Chanyeol has been messing around with it since the past few days, trying his best to self-taught himself in using the camera.

“You should wake up now and teach me how to use this _damn_ thing. You were right, I know nothing about photography—I’m really bad at this.” He laughed bitterly.

Chanyeol lifted the camera and adjusted the lens randomly. He focused on Baekhyun’s pale and frail fingers and snapped the shot.

“I missed you, Baek.” He whispered as he leaned closer to the other’s ears.

He sat up again but his hand never left Baekhyun’s crown of hair. His fingers were in the midst of tracing his beloved’s face when a pair of beautiful brown eyes stared back at him, confusion clouding those eyes.

A beep,

And Chanyeol stood up in a rush, almost knocking his chair off before he hovered over the bed. He wanted to slap his own face, just for the sake of confirming that the eyes staring back at him now belong to Baekhyun.

“Baekhyun!”

“Baekhyun, you’re awake!” Chanyeol whispered joyfully.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun’s voice sounded hoarse and tired but it still managed to make Chanyeol’s heart soared above the sky.

“Yes, Baek. I’m here. I’m here now.” Dainty and calloused fingers reached out to his face before they settled on his cheek. Chanyeol unconsciously leaned onto the touch, a gentle smile appeared on his plump lips.

“ _My Chanyeol._ ”

 _That_ was all he could hear over the loud alarm blaring above the bed.

 _That_ was everything he could hear over the sound of body slamming repeatedly onto the bed. His hands that were holding Baekhyun’s shook along with the force, dragging him together as the body below him trashed around on the bed.

 _That_ was all in his head when he was pushed away from Baekhyun, out of the door by the nurses while the doctors came rushing into the room.

He couldn’t hear anything else other than those words, not even the long beeping sound from inside of the room or Kyungsoo’s voice yelling for him.

For all that he could hear in that moment was the sound of Baekhyun’s camera lens shuttered— _the one in his hand—_ and Baekhyun’s mellow voice resonated across the whole place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“Chanyeol-ah, do you know that we can stop time when we take photo?”_

_“Oh yeah?”_

_“Mhmm…that means, I have to power to stop the time!” Baekhyun said cheekily._

_Chanyeol laughed. “And what would you do with this power, pup?”_

_“I’ll captured all the beautiful things in this life—I’ll capture you, in my photos. So all of you can stay for a very long time and won’t lose your way to me.”_

_Chanyeol leaned his head on the smaller’s shoulder._

_“Then I can stay forever with you.”_

_Baekhyun nodded, a sweet smile ghosting his pretty face._

_“In another universe, we will.”_

 

 

Baekhyun lifted the camera above them and let his head fell onto his lover’s head. He closed his eyes, imitating his sleeping boyfriend. His long finger hovered over the button.

A second.

A shutter.

And _snap._

_{ —and fall back together. }_

—End—

 


End file.
